<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Aftermath by LazarusII</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650823">Aftermath</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazarusII/pseuds/LazarusII'>LazarusII</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Kanan Jarrus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hera is Amazing, Post-Malachor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:53:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazarusII/pseuds/LazarusII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of Malachor, Kanan and the <em>Ghost</em> crew try to help Ezra as the boy grows increasingly despondent.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ezra Bridger &amp; Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger &amp; The Ghost Crew, Kanan Jarrus &amp; Hera Syndulla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Phoenix Nest Summer Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/minnabird/gifts">minnabird</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello!<br/>I will say that I had a lot of fun with the prompt. Minna, I hope you like it :))<br/>Note that I did my best to make this fit into canon.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kanan rolled over in bed, feeling his muscles ache with every movement. Around him, he could sense the rest of the ship--restless. </p><p>A soft buzzing presence nearby told him that Ezra had returned for the night. The apprentice was most likely in his quarters, pacing or doing… whatever he did nowadays. Farther away, Kanan could feel Hera’s calm resolve and Sabine’s much more fiery aura. </p><p>Every now and then, footsteps echoed against the durasteel floor panels of the <em> Ghost </em>, an accompaniment to the perpetual hum of the ship’s systems. Beneath his body, even through the soft padding of the bed, he could feel the subtle vibration of its engine, the thrum of mechanical life which protected them from the elements. </p><p> </p><p>The days since Malachor had been dark and filled with silence. Collectively, the <em> Ghost </em> crew had opted to take leave of the rebel base and set up a temporary camp on a nearby planet. While the rebel hub was arguably one of the <em> safest </em>places for them to stay, the presence of others had quickly grown stifling.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Kanan ran a hand across his forehead, feeling the rough bandages against his fingers--the outer layer of the dressings which swathed his head. </p><p>
  <em> Malachor.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Maul.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vader.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> … Ahsoka…  </em>
</p><p>He let the hand fall back to the bed padding with a dull <em> thump </em>. </p><p>It was all so fresh in his mind, eating its way through his mental shields like a poison. </p><p>Even now, Kanan felt the oppressive sound--or rather the <em> lack </em>of it--pressing against his eardrums. Since he’d lost his vision, he’d noticed that everything that he could hear, smell, and sense, had become much sharper, as if making up for what he couldn’t see with his own eyes. </p><p>He almost wished it hadn’t. It would’ve made everything so much easier to push away, to ignore… </p><p>Rolling over, Kanan buried his face in his pillow, ignoring the dull ache which spread from his forehead. He had an entire array of pain medications and the rebel medics had already declared him fit for duty…  </p><p>Maul’s blade had cauterized the wound as soon as it had been created--one of the few redeeming perks of it being a <em> lightsaber </em> wound. Because of that, there was a very low chance of infection. Even so, that did <em> not </em>mean that the pain was gone. </p><p>Kanan groaned as his face gave another twinge. </p><p>Somehow, hearing his own, muffled tones fill the air was comforting. Maybe it was a reminder that he was still alive, still <em> present </em>in whatever state of existence he currently occupied… </p><p>Exhaling softly, he allowed himself to drift off into a light doze. </p><p> </p><p>When he next awakened, Kanan sensed that most of the ship had gone to sleep. He could, however, feel that Hera was still awake and somewhere near the cargo bay. Sabine’s presence echoed softly next to the Captain’s like an afterthought. </p><p>He frowned. Usually Sabine was energetic in the Force. That was odd. </p><p>Pushing back the light cotton blankets, Kanan found his pair of in-ship slip-ons and shuffled to the door, only taking a minute to adjust his loose shirt and baggy pants before he exited his quarters. </p><p> </p><p>The first time he’d gone through the ship without vision, it had been disorienting. While the Force was, indeed, a huge help in navigation, the clarity of such vision heavily depended on the headspace of its user. </p><p>And Kanan had been <em> deeply </em>disturbed by the events of Malachor--to say the least. </p><p>In his mind, especially in the few days directly following their return, he’d relived the events of the mission over and over like a holovid set on repeat. </p><p>
  <em> Ezra falling through the floor.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ezra--following Maul.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kanan’s failure to warn Ezra…  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Maul lashing out with his lightsaber, the blinding pain racing across Kanan’s face and head like wildfire.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The disorientation--Ahsoka yelling his name--the sound of lightsabers hissing and crackling against each other.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --the cold presence, the frozen feeling in the Force as Darth Vader approached-- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The darkness and terrible power that the Sith exuded without end.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ezra’s fear illuminating the Force-- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ahsoka’s sacrifice…  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> His </em>failure.</p><p> </p><p>Shoulders hunched forwards, Kanan silently guided himself past Ezra’s quarters, feeling the boy’s conflict like a storm in the Force. Even in sleep, the apprentice was suffering. Of all the people in their small family, Kanan did not know how to address Ezra’s grief. </p><p>And--of all the people there--he was the one who <em> needed </em>to. </p><p>The apprentice blamed himself for <em> all </em>of it--Maul, Kanan’s eyes, the outcome of the mission…But more than anything, he blamed himself for the loss of Ahsoka, for her sacrifice. </p><p> </p><p>Kanan had grappled with his words for days, and still did not know how to comfort Ezra. He’d spoken to the others and sought counsel with some of the rebel leaders… but nothing sat right with him. </p><p> </p><p>It <em> wasn’t </em>the boy’s fault that Vader had come, or that Maul had twisted all of their actions and words into some sort of disgusting game, let alone Ahsoka’s sacrifice. Ezra had been used and manipulated. </p><p>He was a <em> kid </em>. </p><p>Without experience, without the knowledge of just <em> who </em>Maul was, how could he have made the right choices?</p><p>If anything, the failure was Kanan’s, that he hadn’t pulled the boy aside and explained that the Zabrak was a murderer and enemy to the Jedi. No--not just <em> explained </em>, made sure that the boy wholeheartedly understood just how dangerous the Zabrak was. </p><p> </p><p>But how could he even begin to explain all of it to the boy? </p><p>All Ezra saw when he looked at Kanan’s face were the scars… that and the bandage wrapped tightly around his master’s eyes--the eyes that Maul had viciously cut through only days before. </p><p>While Kanan couldn’t <em> see </em>the boy’s expression, he could feel the horror directed inwards, every time… </p><p> </p><p>Kanan reached the cargo bay and paused, a hand resting on the door controls. He could hear the two female crewmembers speaking, their voices muffled by the layers of durasteel beyond. </p><p>They were talking about Ezra… and <em> him </em>. </p><p>He concentrated, focusing on their voices. </p><p> </p><p>Sabine was speaking. In the Force, Kanan could feel her conflict. </p><p>“I just don’t know what to do… he’s been so distant lately and…” Kanan heard Sabine’s frustrated hiss. “It feels like no matter what I do, he just keeps getting farther away.”</p><p>Hera hummed softly. The soft scrape of shipping containers echoed in the cargo bay. “I’ve tried to talk to Ezra… While I admit that he has come to me a few times, he’s always silent. My instinct is that he’s still processing what happened. I keep telling him to speak with Kanan, but…” </p><p>Her voice trailed off. </p><p> </p><p>After a moment, Sabine spoke up. “I approached Ezra, like you suggested. I didn’t try to intrude or assume things. While we did manage to talk a bit, every time he said something, it was so hesitant. It reminded me of when I’d just left the academy, but obviously, it’s completely different.” </p><p>Hera sighed, and Kanan sensed fatigue drape itself over her presence. “Ezra feels deeply guilty about the outcome of the mission. He’s still grieving… more than anything I think he needs time.”</p><p>Sabine hummed in agreement, but still seemed unconvinced. </p><p>Slowly, so as not to activate the door by accident, Kanan withdrew his hand. His gut instinct, which had earlier been telling him to join the other two in conversation, now told him that this was a conversation that he shouldn’t become involved in. </p><p>Hera’s voice came again, fainter this time. “Unfortunately, we might be out of time, at least for the moment.” </p><p>Kanan’s brow furrowed at the Captain’s words. The dull ache in his head increased, but he ignored the discomfort. </p><p>“I was contacted by Command. We have a mission.” There came another sigh. Kanan could picture Hera pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know how I put in a request for us to be placed on temporary leave?” </p><p>Sabine’s presence wavered. Kanan could tell that she didn’t like the implications of Hera’s words. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“It was denied.” There was a hint of a rare snarl in the Captain’s tone. “I haven’t told the rest of the crew.”</p><p>In the Force, Kanan felt Sabine’s anger spike. “We’re in no condition for that right now. <em> How </em>can we be expected to operate like normal when--”</p><p>Hera interrupted, frustration in her voice. “I don’t know. The message came in a matter of hours ago. We’ve been deployed. With the recent… losses, Command is in an uproar. And, according to them, we’re the only ones within the sector of the emergency. The rest of the fleet is being sent elsewhere.” </p><p> </p><p>A dead weight fell into the pit of Kanan’s stomach. Slowly, he backed away from the door. </p><p>He’d heard enough. </p><p>The mission… <em> he </em>would manage. </p><p>Ezra, on the other hand… </p><p>Kanan made a mental note to try and speak with his apprentice before they disembarked.</p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, he didn’t have to wait to see Ezra for very long, or at least <em> interact </em> with the boy.</p><p>Kanan had just returned to his quarters and was in the process of putting together mission equipment when he sensed a surge in the Dark Side. Heart racing, he leapt to his feet, expanding his presence until he could lock in on its source. </p><p>He felt his spirits plummet just a bit farther. </p><p><em> Ezra’s quarters, </em> he thought. </p><p>Fear wormed its way into his mind. </p><p> </p><p>By the time Kanan reached his apprentice’s quarters, the terrible anger and fear, which had filled the Force, was gone. </p><p>Hesitantly, he knocked on the door. </p><p>“Ezra?” He tried. </p><p>The resulting wave of guilt nearly knocked him off his feet. Ordinarily, Kanan would’ve let himself in by this point. He resisted the urge to override the door controls and planted his feet instead. </p><p>“Go away,” came the muffled reply. </p><p>He’d been expecting the response, but it still stung. </p><p>Dipping his head, Kanan rested a hand against the door. He could feel an entire world of pain beyond its durasteel paneling, as though Ezra were at the center of a darkened vortex. </p><p>Carefully, he reached out through their bond, bundling a comforting array of emotions toward the apprentice--</p><p>Iron bars slammed down around Ezra’s mind, shields which Kanan had taught the boy to control. </p><p> </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Kanan released his hurt into the Force, letting it roll off of him. He had to stay balanced. For the mission. For Ezra. For… <em> everyone </em>. </p><p>“I’m here for you.” He said to the durasteel, ignoring how lame his words sounded to his ears. “Just… know that.”</p><p>Kanan swallowed, and his brain supplemented the last word. </p><p>
  <em> Please.  </em>
</p><p>For a moment, he wavered, internally fighting the urge to say more--to verbalize the plea. He bit the side of his cheek instead, unsure of what to do. </p><p> </p><p>Ezra was silent. </p><p> </p><p>Slowly, Kanan turned from the boy’s quarters--which seemed to have filled with an even greater sense of pain--and retreated back to his room. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As morning came, a deep gloom fell over the ship.</p><p>Kanan hadn’t been able to sleep since his late-night excursion to the cargo bay. Head aching slightly, and his body feeling as though it were filled with lead, he slowly unfolded himself from where he sat on the small floor mat. </p><p>Meditation hadn’t been successful. </p><p>Every time he tapped into the Force, he could feel the deep pain and conflict which weighed upon his apprentice’s shoulders. The emotions radiated through their bond, and only became more pronounced once the boy’s nightmares started… </p><p>Either their bond was extraordinarily strong, or Ezra’s dreams were vivid enough to partially transmit through the Force. Regardless of the answer, Kanan could almost visualize what the boy was seeing. </p><p>The dreams were dark and violent… </p><p>And <em> terrifying </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Zeb was the first to rise, his presence illuminating the Force near what Kanan knew to be the upper decks. It still felt strange to sense the Lasat in the early hours of the morning. Zeb had, for the longest time, been the <em> last </em> to rise. But, like the rest of the <em> Ghost </em>crew, things had changed in recent days… </p><p>To Kanan, Zeb’s change in schedule was just another painful reminder of what Malachor had done to them. <em> All </em>of them. </p><p> </p><p>Not long after, Hera awakened, and collectively pinged all their comms, calling for a meeting. Full attendance was mandatory. </p><p> </p><p>The news seemed to put yet another dampener on the mood--something which became blatantly obvious the moment Kanan stepped into the <em> Ghost </em>’s main cabin for breakfast. </p><p>Following the most recent series of events, Kanan and Hera ate in near-silence, with the others trickling in over time. In sharp contrast to their former, energetic mornings, the solemn mood persisted. </p><p>Ezra came in last, slipping into the room quietly. It was already near the end of what the crew had dubbed as ‘early dining hours.’ By this time, Kanan had already finished, and retreated to the cockpit with Hera. Through their training bond, however, he could feel tension hanging in the air between the three others. </p><p>In spite of Kanan’s wish to somehow speak with his apprentice, Ezra seemed keen on avoiding him. Following breakfast hours, Kanan had made his way back towards the main cabin, only to find the place completely devoid of life. Later, Kanan tried to catch the boy after the mission briefing, but was promptly pulled aside by Hera, who was still focused on the incoming task.</p><p>After requesting that he look after Ezra, the <em> Ghost </em> captain pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was supposed to be a simple run--a reconnaissance mission downplanet to a village for potential rebel allies. As Kanan had overheard the previous night, the moon in question <em>was</em> close by--and sending the <em> Ghost </em>crew did seem logical… </p><p>They were nearby--And that was where the logic of it all ended. The <em>Ghost </em>crew's focus was completely shattered, and their sense of cohesion was in just as bad a state.</p><p> </p><p>How could they function as a team when they couldn't even speak to one another under normal terms? </p><p>Kanan disliked the idea of going into a combat situation in such a state, and he knew that Hera had the same doubt. Hell, <em>all of them</em> did. </p><p>In the end, it had been the promise of a milk run--something <em>simple</em>--that convinced them it was alright to take on the mission. </p><p> </p><p>That had been a mistake. </p><p> </p><p>The mission had seemed straightforward in writing; even more so when explained out loud during the briefing. </p><p>In reality, however, things were not <em>nearly</em> so simple. For one, the intel which had been provided to Rebel Command was severely outdated… and it had neglected to mention the heavily-defended, Imperial industrial plant sitting right outside city limits. </p><p>… Or the fact that all the rebels had been caught and executed weeks prior. The entire operation had been destined to fail from the very beginning. </p><p> </p><p>Five hours in, sweating, and clutching his lightsaber to his chest, Kanan allowed himself to slide down to the ground, his back pressed against the solid wall of a large shipping container. Close by, he could hear Sabine gasping for breath, the helmet muffling her as she fought to slow her heartbeat. </p><p>Kanan angled his face towards her. “Are you alright?” He whispered. </p><p>“I’ll… live.” Came the reply. </p><p>Nodding, he let his presence expand across the area, taking in the large expanse of shipping containers on all sides and the stormtroopers swarming outside the currently-empty loading dock. Kanan didn’t even try to suppress the frown which came across his face. Ezra was near the entrance, hiding in the rafters. The boy lit up the Force like a beacon--a ball of barely-contained anxiety and frustration. Zeb had already made the rendezvous point and was with Hera--that much Kanan had heard before their comms went out. </p><p> </p><p>The Empire had them completely surrounded.</p><p> </p><p>Even as Kanan reached out through the Force to try and get a grasp of the enemy’s movements, he heard an Imperial officer signal to the white-armored soldiers surrounding the entrance. Already, the only thing the Stormtroopers had to do in order to shoot down Ezra was to look up. And more soldiers poured in with every passing second. </p><p>Kanan sweat bead on his forehead. This was bad. Very bad. </p><p>He shoved back the panic which threatened to break through his mental shields. </p><p> </p><p>The boy had been dancing with death ever since they’d disembarked, casting himself into battle with little concern for his own safety. Kanan had done his best to hold the apprentice back, to protect him… but there was only so much he could do, especially while he was still getting accustomed to navigating without the use of his eyes. Everything was so disorienting... </p><p>A storm was gathering around Ezra, and Kanan reached out without thinking, seeking to calm the boy before he could tap into the darkness. The effect was instantaneous. Ezra wilted, and guilt nearly crushed Kanan as he haphazardly erected his mental shields against the unpredictable bleh of the troubled apprentice. </p><p> </p><p>Gritting his teeth, Kanan hauled himself upright. He and Sabine were deep enough in the loading area that it would take some time for the troopers to find them, but both of them knew that it would only be a matter of time until Ezra was spotted and shot down.</p><p> </p><p>The fear in Kanan's mind whispered into his worst fears.</p><p>Ezra didn't have a lightsaber. And, therefore, could not defend nearly as well against ranged attacks. </p><p>Kanan was blind now and still recovering. </p><p>They were scattered. </p><p>The team... </p><p> </p><p>He shook himself. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kanan's blood froze when the sound of the first blaster shot tore through the air. Shouts followed almost immediately, and soon the air was ringing with the chaos of battle. </p><p>Raising his saber, Kanan deflected several blaster bolts before ducking back down, wincing as his forehead throbbed. </p><p> </p><p>Panic filled the training bond, screaming through the Force, and tearing into Kanan’s chest. The outburst was followed by an audible yell of pain.</p><p>Sabine yelled.</p><p>Kanan's stomach dropped. </p><p>
  <em>No. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Somewhere close by, Ezra had been hit. Through the Force, he could tell that it wasn't life threatening, but still... </p><p> </p><p>Throwing himself out from behind the crate, Kanan ignited his blade with a yell. Sabine’s shock echoed in the far corner of his mind as he cleaved through the nearest pair of stormtroopers which had advanced close by. </p><p>He sensed three others approaching and cut through them with ease. Kanan knew that he would one day come to regret the wounds he was inflicting upon the soldiers… but the only thing that he could think of was Ezra. </p><p>The Force lit up and Kanan dodged to the side as laser bolts whizzed past his head. By his rough estimation, there was still a good twenty meters between himself and his apprentice. </p><p> </p><p>Charging, he sprinted towards Ezra. Splaying his fingers, Kanan roughly shoved a group of advancing troops before cutting through the next row. If he had his vision, Kanan knew that the blue blade in his hand would have been a dazzling blur in the air.</p><p>At some point, a blaster bolt slammed into his shoulder guard, making him wince. It hadn't penetrated the armor, but he knew there would be a sizable bruise there later. </p><p>Screams and yells echoed all around Kanan as he moved, slowly sinking into the Force's will and letting it guide his every move... </p><p> </p><p>Sabine was nearby, he could feel her determination. Her cover fire pierced the air on either side of him, nearly every shot hitting their target perfectly. Kanan could hear the sound of armor hitting the concrete.  allowing her to take down troopers giving cover fire for his approach </p><p>He’d just about reached Ezra’s position when the subtle beeping met his ears. Eyes going wide, Kanan heard his apprentice yell his name. </p><p>Then, a great many things seemed to happen at once. </p><p> </p><p>Something collided with Kanan--he suspected Ezra’s feet--launching him off to the side. Sabine let out a raw scream and the sound of blasterfire pinging off of beskar filled the air. </p><p>As Kanan hit the ground, the charge detonated, tossing him once more into a state of disorientation. His lightsaber skittered out of his grasp and clattered away as his back collided very painfully with a hard surface. </p><p>For a moment, he seemed to hang in limbo, swimming between consciousness and the void. His ears rang. </p><p>Someone was shouting his name--</p><p>Someone was shouting Ezra’s name… </p><p>And then his head cracked nastily against something metal. </p><p> </p><p>A haze fell over Kanan's thoughts, blotting out almost everything from his thoughts. It was like he was drowning... or floating? He struggled to get a breath, to make his lungs work again. His body's response felt painfully slow. </p><p>
  <em> Ezra. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The boy was nearby, that much Kanan could sense. </p><p>Groaning, he tried to push himself onto his hands and knees, but only succeeded on propping himself onto his elbows, one knee pulled awkwardly beneath him. </p><p>The place where Maul’s lightsaber had cut through his face burned, and it felt like the inside of his head had been used as a mixing bowl. His every move seemed to carry his entire body with him, gravity chaining him to the cement and dragging him down, face-first. </p><p>Shakily, Kanan reached for the Force like a drunken man, and splayed his fingers in the direction of his lightsaber, calling to its softly-pulsing crystal heart. </p><p>For a few seconds, metal grated against stone, and then the weapon thudded into his palm. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He crawled, all sense of dignity and pride cast aside as he slowly scrabbled forward in search of his apprentice. Twice, he ran into the prone forms of fallen troopers, their armor colliding with his fingers. </p><p><em> “Ezra, where…are you…” </em>He called silently through their bond. </p><p>In Kanan’s current state, he wouldn't be surprised if the boy never heard his call. And that was assuming that Ezra was even conscious. </p><p>He called through the Force once more. </p><p>Nothing. </p><p> </p><p>Dread filled the pit of Kanan’s stomach as the Force pulsed softly before him, guiding him slightly to the left. Ezra was there <em>somewhere</em>… and as he drew nearer, Kanan realized that the boy was very weak. </p><p>Kanan had only just managed to change course when blaster fire filled the air. He ducked, pressing himself into the floor as the heat of the airborne lasers sear the exposed skin of his face and hands. </p><p>The dull roar of a landing spacecraft began to echo throughout the loading dock and Kanan immediately continued moving towards Ezra. Every muscle in his body screamed, and his head--</p><p>He could barely think, everything was clouded over. Concussed. </p><p> </p><p>Sabine was coming closer. He could hear her labored movements, and the soft rustle of flexible armor straps as she drew back an arm-- </p><p>A second explosion rocked the world, and Kanan’s already shaky arms gave in. His elbows connected painfully with the ground. </p><p>The fact he’d managed to fight Maul back on Malachor seemed impossible. He was weak, disoriented. </p><p>Cursing himself, Kanan fought to keep moving, careful not to move his head--</p><p> </p><p>The blaster bolt came into his senses before it hit him, blazing its way through the cloth armor just above his left hip. Muscles giving way, he collapsed sideways, gasping as his body automatically curled in on itself. Sabine was behind him, her strong arms pulling him forward--</p><p>For a moment, Kanan tried to break her grip, but found that he could not focus, his head… </p><p> </p><p>“Stop fighting me,” he heard Sabine hiss softly through the helmet, “I blasted a column of stacked crates. We have cover--not for long though.” </p><p>“Ez--” </p><p>“He’s alive,” worry rolled off of the young Mandalorian, clear in her voice, “but needs medical attention. You do too, just hang in there, we’re almost through. Hera has the Phantom out front…” Several blaster shots rang out and Sabine gently lowered him back to the ground. Moments later, her blasters sang. Kanan heard her curse. She’d missed. </p><p> </p><p>The Force pulsed softly. Kanan felt hope rise inside him. Ezra was close by. </p><p> </p><p>Throwing the last of his energy into the movement, Kanan reached out with his hand. His fingers brushed against what felt like Ezra's shoulder. As if in response to the touch, the boy tensed, abruptly coming back to consciousness. Through the bond, Kanan felt Ezra's presence explode into a storm of fear, anxiety, and unbridled grief. The apprentice's hand shot out and grabbed Kanan’s arm in an iron grip.</p><p>Moments later, the grip relaxed. </p><p> </p><p>“Kanan?” Ezra whispered.</p><p>Rather than speak, Kanan sent a tendril of thought through their bond in acknowledgement. His energy was fading--<em>fast. </em></p><p> </p><p>Ezra’s composure crumpled. Guilt pulled at Kanan’s mind, an echo which seemed to still carry the weight of the world. His head spun, the pain behind what was left of his eyes growing more and more intense with every passing second. Desperate to comfort his apprentice, Kanan allowed for his head to fall to the ground as he focused on channeling light towards Ezra…</p><p>“I’m sorry.” The boy whispered. Kanan could sense the silent tears, and pictured them falling down the boy’s face. “Kanan, I’m…” </p><p> </p><p>Other voices filled the air, and Kanan heard the rough tones of Zeb. The Lasat was speaking--saying--<em>something… </em>But Kanan couldn't understand him. The world was spinning, and the energy he was using to reach Ezra was slowly pulling away at his remaining strength. Once again, he felt the void of unconsciousness reaching out to take him under.  </p><p>Hands gripped him gently. </p><p>
  <em> Zeb.  </em>
</p><p>He could hear Hera’s voice in the distance. Was she shouting? </p><p> </p><p>The last thing Kanan registered before unconsciousness claimed him was Ezra grasping his arm, his voice crying out through their bond. </p><p>
  <em>"Kanan--I'm so sorry--I'm--"</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here is the final chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kanan awakened with a start, his heart pounding. He couldn't sense many others--just Hera--but from what he could tell, he was back on the <em>Ghost</em>. And judging by the way he was leaned against a set of rather rough cushions... </p><p>
  <em>The main cabin. </em>
</p><p>"Good, you're awake," Hera's relieved voice met his ears. Her hand gently rested against his good shoulder, pushing him back. </p><p> </p><p>Kanan let out a deep breath and allowed himself to lean into the pillows behind him. "How long...?" </p><p>"Just a few hours." Hera's voice shook slightly. "Ezra woke up right before we got you two on the <em>Phantom</em>, he's been at your side since." </p><p>She snorted softly, "I only <em>just</em> was able to persuade him to get some rest." </p><p> </p><p>"Is he alright?" Kanan tried to remember what had happened, but felt his head throb the moment he attempted to focus. </p><p>"He's seen better days," the Captain sighed and Kanan heard her lean back in her seat, "you're the one who worried us."</p><p> </p><p>Kanan harrumphed. From the sense of relief he got off of Hera, he could guess that Zeb and Sabine were alright. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>At some point, Kanan must have fallen back asleep, because the next time he reached into the Force, Hera had departed and Ezra was there instead. He could hear the boy shifting in the seat nearby, and feel the nervous anticipation in the Force. </p><p> </p><p>After a brief silence, Ezra cleared his throat. "Kanan..." </p><p>Turning his head slightly towards the sound of his apprentice's voice, Kanan smiled. </p><p> </p><p>"Kanan, I'm so sorry." Ezra's emotions spilled over into the Force, and Kanan heard him rush forwards. </p><p>Ezra threw his arms around Kanan.</p><p>"I'm sorry for everything." The apprentice sobbed into his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>The Force was still heavy about the boy, churning with hints of darkness. But even as Kanan reached out through their bond, a light began to appear. It was small, but warm. Letting out a long breath, Kanan rubbed circles into Ezra's shoulders, feeling the silent sobs shake the younger's body. </p><p>"It'll be alright, Ezra," he whispered, voice raw. "We're here for you, never forget that." </p><p>The boy squeezed tighter, and Kanan suppressed a hiss of pain as his head let out an almighty throb. </p><p> </p><p>For a long time, Ezra did not move. But when he finally did, the apprentice made a quiet exit. </p><p> </p><p>Feeling lighter than he had in a long time, Kanan leaned back into the pillows. Recovery would take time, it always did. </p><p>But this... </p><p> </p><p>This was a start. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed this fic!<br/>You can find me on Tumblr <a href="https://lazarusii.tumblr.com/">here</a>!<br/>Thank you so much for reading and may the Force be with you!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Minna, I /really/ hope that you enjoyed the first chapter! </p>
<p>Any news of updates or fics can be found on my <a href="https://lazarusii.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a><br/>Thank you so much for reading and May the Force be with you!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>